


Head Go Boom So Sexy

by skyshadedblue



Series: Mating Games Bonus 2014 [1]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Derek is the brains of this operation, Dimension Travel, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-06
Updated: 2014-07-06
Packaged: 2018-02-07 16:43:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 351
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1906347
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/skyshadedblue/pseuds/skyshadedblue
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Two rogues and a paladin. It’s like a sitcom.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	Head Go Boom So Sexy

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the Mating Games 2014 Bonus Challenge: Week 3 - [Out of Context D&D Quotes](http://mating-games.livejournal.com/17326.html).
> 
> Life got in the way, as per usual, so I'm excessively overdue in posting (and will only be posting my two longer entries), but here it is. Also, the title implicates the seriousness with which I wrote this fic.

“Two rogues and a paladin. It’s like a sitcom.”

“Stiles.” Derek massages his eyes in slow circular motions, as if he could somehow work their current situation from his brain in this manner. “Your commentary is... extremely unnecessary.”

“Silence!” the paladin shouts, some sort of longsword still aimed in their direction. “Now, answer: Who sent you? Are you friend or foe? You cast a Spark in the wood. Are you kin of the Mage King?”

“That’s a hell of a lot of questions,” quips Stiles.

“We weren’t sent by anyone, I swear!” says Scott. “We don’t know how we got here!”

A rogue, face totally hidden with a black scarf, yells, “Such spells only result from sorcery!”

“Through no fault of our own!” Stiles replies. 

Scott’s forehead wrinkles as if to ask, _Stiles, what the heck._ Stiles winks to answer, _Trust me, I got this._ Derek looks consummately done with everything.

“A witch has ensorcelled us from a distant land. Our home is far of your kin as yours is beyond ours. We must find our way back.”

The paladin and his companions glance uncertainly towards each other, then seem to come to an agreement.

The paladin nods, sheathing his sword. “You speak honorably.”

_Are you serious with this?_ Derek glares to Scott, thumbing at Stiles. Scott gapes and shrugs.

“We know of a good witch, rare under the Wizard’s rule; she may be able to offer you assistance. Find her home by forest’s northern edge, but take care the sentry’s head.”

“One misstep and he spits a fire magic to blow the head right off your neck!” The rogue with an angry scar down an eye cackles, exposing a few toothless gaps.

“Ah, my secret fetish. Men with exploding heads.”

“Not the time, Stiles,” Derek grumbles.

“Thanks, uh, thank you,” Scott says. “We’ll be on our way then...” He looks around. “Which way is north?”

“The rogues burst out in laughter that echoes through the trees.

“So much for rogue stealth,” Stiles stage-whispers to Scott.

Derek heaves a sigh. “North is there.” He gestures, presumably, north and sighs again. “Unbelievable.”

**Author's Note:**

> Inspiration: [1](http://outofcontextdnd.tumblr.com/post/79726188432/two-rogues-and-a-paladin-its-like-a-sitcom), [2](http://outofcontextdnd.tumblr.com/post/79722659248/ah-my-secret-fetish-men-with-exploding-heads)
> 
> Thanks for reading~


End file.
